Following up on my previous post “Are Western Women Attracted to Asian Men? The Definitive Answer to This Question”, where I answered the “why”, today I am going to answer the “how”.
How can you optimize yourself as a man to become more attractive on the interracial dating market? The reason I talk about interracial dating and Western women here is because these are what I believe to be the most important things you can do to cater to the standards widely accepted as attractive in Western society. But even if you are only interested in dating Asian girls, doing some of the following things will still help you tremendously.
- Lift weights, play sports, become fit. This is especially important if you have the default skin-on-bone Asian build. Western women would generally prefer a fat guy over a guy who is a stick, simply because, based on biological instincts, the fat guy would appear as being more capable of offering protection. Getting fit will also boost your confidence IMMEDIATELY, and is the easiest change you can make about yourself, right away.
- Make conscious efforts to adjust your mentality, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Instead of having the typical supplicating or self-defeating thoughts that our conservative culture has taught us, “oh she’s not attracted to Asians”, “I’m not good looking enough for her”, etc., BE POSITIVE. Develop a sense of entitlement. I am not saying to set unrealistic expectations for yourself, but always think positively. Think more “what if” and less “probably not”. The possibilities are always out there. Remove those self-defeating thoughts from your head, STARTING TODAY, and check yourself EVERYDAY.
- Do not fear rejection. Again, we are raised by a culture (Asian) that absolutely despises failure. You have to let go of this. Remind yourself every day that social rejection is normal and happens all the time, to everybody. People fail way more socially than they do in classrooms, remind yourself of this fact and come to terms with it. You are not doing a math assignment and it’s not rocket science, so you simply need to think/analyze less and do more. Take action. You have to be able to put yourself out there and face your fears in order to develop that thick skin. Got rejected when asking a girl out? So what? Your life has not changed for the worse. Nothing was lost there, and you just became more experienced. If the girl doesn’t want to talk to you anymore after rejecting you? So what? What would be the point to have her around anyway?
- Learn to be charismatic and conversational. Be friendly to everyone. Make small talk with strangers, your neighbours, your classmates. Get yourself talking so that it becomes a comfortable thing for you. A man who has a way with words, has a way to a woman’s heart (or pants). Most Asians I know are poor at small talk. I’m not a fan of small talk myself, but it’s necessary, especially in English-speaking countries.
- Optimize your appearance. This is related to point 1. Work out, play sports, be fit and in good shape. Get a nice trendy haircut that compliments your facial features. Wear clothes that fit well and are stylish (not necessarily expensive, just look good). I buy all my clothes from H&M, Zara, or Bluenotes – inexpensive and they fit me well. For example, if you are a skinny guy, don’t wear baggy gangsta shirts or skin-tight Armani shirts, neither would flatter you. Wear something like a plaid button-up and nice jeans that would make you look good without accentuating your physical flaws. Then, at the same time, hit the gym to become more muscular so that you have an increasing range of good clothing options as a result of a better physique. Accessorize yourself with a nice watch, some jewelry, etc. Don’t overdo it and wear 10 mood rings, use common sense.
- Do something different. Stand out. The more you stray from the typical Asian male stereotypes, the more a girl will be like, “who is this guy? What’s he all about?” Curiosity is great, it’s fantastic – curiosity equals ATTENTION. Yes, attention-seeking is necessary – except you won’t have to desperately seek it if you already do interesting things that automatically market you. Instead of being a computer nerd or piano player, maybe try rock climbing, or train for long distance running, or ride a motorcycle, or get a tattoo. I don’t even have a tattoo. I think they are mainstream now, but I still think it would help with the “WTF” factor. Stand out from your peers.
- Read, learn, travel. Become interesting and become truly comfortable and confident with yourself. You can act outwardly confident and whatnot all you want, but at the end of the day, women have extraordinary sixth sense, and they will very quickly sniff you out if you are just a flashy cardboard box with nothing of substance on the inside. Build your inner-self by improving your mentality, confidence, and knowledge. I’ve come across some Asian gym bros who are jacked and can feign an air of over-confidence, but once you hear two sentences out of them, right away you realize that they are insecure on the inside and they are compensating by being loud and obnoxious on the outside. Most girls will see right through that. If you are happy with yourself, then women will detect that as true confidence. Put in work to be the best you can be, and remove all insecurity from your mind.
- At the end of the day, like I said in my previous post – there will always be 20% of women who are simply not open to Asian men (due to hardwired social conditioning by media or experience), but that’s fine. Out of the other 80%, 20% will be interested and 60% will be neutral (as they would be for other minority races), in which case it is simply up to you to display your cool and masculine swagger for her to be attracted. I have had numerous girls who have told me, “you are the first Asian guy I’m attracted to”. It is ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE to be the first attractive Asian man that a girl comes across. It is all about perception. Some girls may not have a good perception of Asian men in general, but perception is easily swayed and you can be the one to do it.
Those 8 points above (hah, lucky number 8) are your ticket to beautiful, outgoing, and passionate Western women. Now, some people might argue, “Oh, but shouldn’t we be confident and happy being ourselves rather than making changes to our lifestyle simply to appease women?” The answer to this question is simple, and I will answer it again and again. We live in a society where a set of social norms, patterns, and rules have been well-established. Would you like to get what you want? Then play the game. I don’t care if you’ve never brushed your teeth before, but you better damn well start now if you want to play the game. Adapt to your surroundings, that’s the name of the game. Be fluid like water, as Master Bruce Lee said.
Rome was not built in a day. If you follow my above list and incorporate those things into your life over the next year, then I guarantee you will have success with interracial dating. Once you do, please come back to BAB and write a testimonial. 😉
(NOTE: “Western women” in this post refers to women who were brought up in the West, with the Western mentality — this includes Asian girls)